


Over Due Sharing

by EmotionalSupportPuma



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27368275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionalSupportPuma/pseuds/EmotionalSupportPuma
Summary: After the Calypso Twins have been defeated, the Vault Hunters finally have a moment to grieve over the ones they've lost. It isn't easy.
Relationships: Amara/Moze (Borderlands)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Over Due Sharing

**Author's Note:**

> title is a lyric from "same boat we row" by rare americans

It wasn't easy, seeing someone you viewed as unbreakable fall apart. Even worse when they were denying this weakness to those around them. 

Moze had been there before. Opening up to other people took an incredibly long time for her and even with how close she was to her fellow Vault Hunters, there were still many things she'd kept to herself. Her budding relationship with Amara helped, but the hangups weren't so easily untied. So, in short, she understood what her girlfriend was going through at the moment.

Losing people in a war was something that thoroughly fucked you up. There wasn't any way to  _ avoid _ that. They might not have been fighting an actual war, but saving the world from the Calypso twins death cult fell close enough to that descriptor. Moze had despised that at first and even considered deserting the Crimson Raiders in the early days. She hadn't abandoned Vladof's corporate warpath just to join somebody else's. But right now that wasn't the point to be dwelling over.

Amara...for all her bravado and prowess in battle, she wasn't a soldier. She was even less equipped to handle the losses of war than Moze. Before the Vault Hunting, and technically during it as well, she'd been a celebrity. Everything gifted to her, because of her flashy powers and ability to work a crowd. Rarely were things taken  _ away _ from the Tiger of Partali. Nobody dared to when they laid eyes on the Siren who could pummel them to death with far too many sets of arms. 

This was a relatively new experience for her and she wasn't handling it well.

"Have you seen Amara lately?" Zane poked his head into the room to ask pointedly.

Moze glanced away from Iron Bear, "Uh, define lately."

"Today. Have you seen her  _ today _ ?"

"Nah, why?"

Zane waved a hand vaguely, "Had a mission I thought she mighta liked." 

"Then echo her."

"She's  _ your _ girlfriend." 

Moze sighed and tossed her wrench aside haphazardly. It wasn't that she  _ didn't  _ want to speak to Amara, they hadn't had a falling out or anything. Their relationship was going far more steadily than either of them would have expected, probably. Vault Hunters weren't known for their astounding ability to make relationships last. Honestly, the uncanny knack to wreck a good thing when it came to you was practically a prerequisite. Moze knew where they were headed however and had been stalwartly putting it off for weeks now. 

She'd always called it the unburdening stage; when you bared the ugly truths to your significant other and hoped the relationship would survive. After the disasters of Darzaron Bay, Moze had lost the will to get to that stage with  _ anybody _ , even those she'd come to call her friends. Admitting to a fear was excruciating, but there was no dancing around that point. She was scared. Of opening up to Amara, of the possibility of losing her, of having to face the fact that she was struggling. Nothing had been easy since she deserted Vladof. Not even the little things.

"Alright, clear off old man." Moze grumbled to Zane, "Outta my room. I don't trust you around Iron Bear without supervision."

"Aw, I promise I wouldn't do anythin' weird."

She pulled a face, "I meant that you might knock him over or some shit, but now I trust you even less."

After shooing Zane out of the room and locking the door, the only thing left was the hard parts. Where would Amara be if she wanted to be left alone? Her first guess would be out on a mission of some sort, unable to be easily pinpointed  _ or _ stumbled upon. But searching for her like that would take ages. Moze settled for crossing over to the Siren's room first and gently tapping her knuckles to the door in a rehearsed rhythm. One of the old chants she'd memorized with Vladof. There was no response for a long enough period of time that she almost left, before the door inched open.

That trademark, winning smile greeted her, but she could tell Amara's heart wasn't in it instantly. Once it became obvious that Moze was standing there alone, the corners of it faltered. The fact that she was still trying to keep up appearances made her heart twist. Even on a place as casual as Sanctuary III, Amara was trying to be unbreakable. Fighting to show that she had no weaknesses, that she could fight on without a skip in her step. Moze kicked her shoes off and immediately ducked her head to fit it underneath Amara's chin.

The change was instantaneous. Her girlfriend completely deflated, like a tired balloon. Amara, a deadly Siren made of pure muscle, was a ridiculously soft person once you got close to her. She was nearly a head taller than Moze and yet she always preferred being the little spoon. The whole of Sanctuary III would tease her endlessly if they knew. But for the moment, it was just the two of them, and Moze sorely regretted avoiding her girlfriend for most of the day cycle. It was obvious the Amara was about two steps away from falling apart completely. She  _ needed _ to get whatever this was out. The two of them moved to sit on the little shelf-bed that lay unused in Amara's quarters, simply collecting cushions and half-read books.

"What's wrong?" 

Amara shrugged half-heartedly, but her Siren tattoos glowed eerily in the dim lighting of the room. Those markings often betrayed their owners emotions far better than words ever could.

"It's more than that, 'mara." She cleared her throat softly before continuing, "You wouldn't be holed up in here otherwise. Wouldn't be so quiet either."

"Heh, is it that obvious?"

Moze snorted, "Only to...me and, uh, Zane apparently."

"So...everybody." Amara raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, guess so."

They sat in silence for a few moments, as the humor melted back into the seriousness from before. It was never easy to find a starting point for this kind of thing. Moze certainly hadn't ever acknowledged the trauma lingering in her mind from Vladof, unless you counted drunken rambling that she could barely recall during the hangover the next morning. That, however, was a long conversation for another time. Tonight Moze needed to be here for her girlfriend. She had an inkling about the cause of this melancholy, but it would be better to hear it from Amara herself than to make guesses.

"It just feels...pathetic." The Siren finally murmured, "I've never been so gutted by a loss like this. First Maya, and now Lilith…we hardly got to know them before they were gone."

Moze frowned sadly, "You always called them 'sister'."

"There are only six Sirens in the universe at any given time, you know? We were undeniably connected by the powers we had. And the universe took them back so easily."

In technicality, the universe had only taken back Lilith's powers. Maya's had gone right to Ava after they'd finally killed Troy's leech ass. Part of her cringed at how easily they all accepted that Lilith was dead and gone, when Tannis was still searching for her. If the smartest person any of them knew, maybe even the smartest person on Pandora, still believed the Firehawk could be alive, didn't that mean the rest of them should hold out hope too? Tannis had never been the kind to ignore science for the sentimental shit. But Moze figured this wasn't the time for a discussion like that. 

"S'pose it was their time." She murmured at last, unused to trying to give a spiritual answer like that.

Amara lit up suddenly, furious not at her, but the circumstances, "It shouldn't have been! They were both  _ young _ still."

"Most people on Pandora die before they even reach adulthood, according to Tina. They might've been lucky to reach 30 and 40 somthin'."

"They didn't die on  _ Pandora _ , Moze. Maya died in a Vault and Lilith on Elpis." The Siren spat, "They died because the Calypso twins were delusional cultists with a god-complex."

"Tyreen and Troy are dead, we killed them." Moze reminded her lightly.

"Not soon enough."

That last comeback was enough to break what little resolve Amara had left. Tears that wavered on the edges of her eyes spilled over at last, trailing over those perfect cheeks of hers and breaking Moze's heart drop by drop. This was the first time she'd ever seen the Siren truly crying. It made her breath catch in her throat uncomfortably, threatening to send her into a coughing fit if she tried to breathe too hard. Moze had tried so hard not to get attached to any of the Crimson Raiders, but Amara? She'd jumped headfirst into caring about them, caring about the other  _ Sirens,  _ and now it had come back to bite her terribly. A festering wound she'd hidden from the others until she could stand it no longer. Quite frankly, it was amazing that Amara had lasted so long before being eaten alive by the grief. 

A few months ago, Moze would have considered this a sign to cut off the lingering attachments she had built with Amara, Zane and Fl4k. That they were doomed to die and leave her just as her first squad had done. But she wasn't that broken Vladof soldier anymore. Moze had grown soft around the edges, learned to open up ever so slightly. Now this situation presented itself as a different sort of sign: that she needed to grieve too. That she and Amara would get through this together, if Moze could just let herself be vulnerable.

"I know how hard it is to lose the people you...you think of as family. That you get along with and look up to." She had to take a pause and swallow roughly, "That you love like family."

Amara looked down at her and didn't say a word, but she didn't really need to at the moment. Her sympathy was practically palpable in the air.

"It's not something you ever get over...but life goes on. We have to, to keep their memories alive."

"How do I go on from here? I had so much to learn from them." The Siren sighed, with a slight wobble to her tone.

Moze threaded their fingers together, "I think...I think you should take on Ava as an apprentice. For Maya"

"She's got Tannis, she doesn't need  _ me. _ "

"Of course she does." The words spilled from Moze's mouth of their own volition, "You told me once that most Sirens don't get any teachers at all. Think about how good Ava could have it."

Amara glanced at her skeptically.

"She's learned from Maya. Learned from Lilith. Now she's got Tannis and she could have  _ you _ . You've got the chance to help her be the best damn Siren history has ever seen." 

For a moment, the tension in Amara's shoulders finally lifted. Like a burden had been lifted from her heart and the future looked a little less bleak. It wasn't a change that lasted, however, as the sadness crept back into her gaze. Moze hadn't expected to magically fix everything with one conversation, though. Grief could never be so easily alleviated. This was but one bump in the road that they'd worked past, with undoubtedly many more on the way. 

"I have a plan now, but I don't feel any better." Amara murmured.

"That's alright. You know, I never had anybody to help me grieve when I left Vladof. Just me and Iron Bear. How about tonight...we just get it all out. Cry like goddamn babies together." Moze said, elbowing her girlfriend, "And for tomorrow...well, Zane had a mission he thought you'd like. Maybe you and Ava can go do it?"

Amara didn't say a word, but she smiled at Moze through a muffled sob. It was an odd feeling to be so incredibly trusted with the vulnerability of someone like the Siren. Not an unpleasant one, though, despite the sadness of the evening. Just something new for her to navigate through.

They had a long night ahead of them, but Moze was certain there was no one else in the universe she'd want to spend it with. 

**Author's Note:**

> heyo, im still writing, albeit very slowly! not much to say this time around bc im tired af
> 
> as always, all comments and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated and i hope y'all have a great day! if you wanna see excerpts of my writing or just my shitposts, my borderlands tumblr is tannithvibes!


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